Coatbridge Sunnyside: Commuters reeled in shock as a train pulled out of the station on time. "I was shocked and stunned," said local blacksmith Mrs. Ethel Crutchley. A shocked Scotrail spokesman said: "Obviously this is the kind of thing we shall want to get rid of when the services are fully privatised."
Dr. Day's Junction: Inter Milan have put in a £2.5m bid for wayward midfield maestro Jackie Chan.
BAYWATCH - MY STORY BY SIR ROBERT ARMSTRONG
COSY! MEETS VLAD THE IMPALER AT HIS BUCHAREST VILLA
Text by Betsy Coed
Pictures by Clifford Llandudno
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