Sunday, August 12, 2007

An interview with the Reverend Gentleman 1

I've been lucky enough to get into contact with the man who was The Reverend Ignatius Pubes (Mrs.) O.B.E. and he's agreed to answer some questions about the Cosy Corner. This is the first of an ongoing, irregular series.

Thanks for agreeing to answer some questions about the Cosy Corner.

That's OK. I'm just amazed that anyone can be arsed to ask questions about it in the first place.

How and why did you start doing the Cosy Corner?

The How's easy: I just started writing and drawing on bits of paper. Why's trickier. Part of that's got to be that I was bored. Besides that, I was irritated and angry by the sheer absurdity and wickedness of the world around me - I've read your blog so I guess you can relate to that! At the time there were lots of people going around "being political," which usually amounted to saying rude things about Margaret Thatcher while setting themselves up in cosy bits of employment. It galls me to think that I was being chucked out of my local Labour Party for not toeing the Socialist Worker line at the same time as Tony Blair was sucking up to CND and the like. At the last election I was asked if I would be voting Labour. I told them straight: if I wanted to vote for the policies of Margaret Hilda Thatcher I'd have done it when the bitch was available for election.

So that led to the Cosy Corner?

Pretty much. I couldn't be arsed being another agitprop wanker lecturing the masses so I decided to be an absurdist wanker drivelling to myself in a corner. That's why I ended up giving up on it in the end.

How so?

The world got too absurd. There I would be, writing some utter drivel about politics or popular culture and some beggar would go and do or say something even more stupid. I'd stand no chance these days. I'll bet if I came up with some nonsense about a TV series called "When Celebrity Toothbrushes Go Bad" I'll find it's already in post-production for one of the Channel 4 channels.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Celebrity Gossip

With Thurlaston Codpiece, our man who's just as ignorant as the rest of you but that doesn't stop him writing

From "A Child's Garden," May 1987

8 Guess who was seen shopping in Timothy White's last week! Nicholas II, Tsar of All The Russias, that's who! Our scouts spotted him buying "something for the weekend." Bit of news you're not telling us about, eh, Nicky boy?

8 Despite his jolly demeanour it seems that Joey Grimaldi is a miserable soul in real life. A taxi driver tells us: "I had that Joey Grimaldi in my cab last week. And do you know, he was a right miserable sod he was. 'Ain't you that Joey Grimaldi?' I arsked him and what did he say? 'Joey Grimaldi's dead isn't he?' 'Well if he's dead I'm carrying a pretty chipper corpse in the back of me cab,' I riposted. And do you know what he said to me? 'Don't be so bloody stupid. I'm Prince Phillip. Now get your finger out before the bookies are closed." You heard it here first!

8 Who is that being lined up for the latest Steven Spielberg film? Why, it's none other than Lord Lucan, fresh from a six-week engagement on the North Pier at Blackpool!

8 Which well-known celebrity was seen coming out of an off-licence in Tooting? Could it be Sir Stafford Cripps?
[No, of course it couldn't. You're fired. Eddie the Pissed-off Editor]